Muschamp doesn’t get art of a punchline

When it comes to trash talking, first-year Florida head coach Will Muschamp earned an epic fail days back when attempting to rile up a Gator-heavy crowd, taking a dig at Miami.

Poking fun at one’s rival is a God-given right, but when attempting to do so, at least have a strong punchline or a valid point. Another approach might be a subtle, read-between-the-lines type of zinger, where everyone knows what was implied without it actually being said, but Muschamp chose neither.

At his first gathering with Florida boosters days back in Lakeland, Muschamp was asked about luring former Gators wideout and Hurricanes receivers coach Aubrey Hill out of South Florida months back.

Muschamp stated, “He called me more than I called him. He wanted to get out of Miami. I don’t blame him”, to which the orange and blue, jorts-wearing crowd erupted in applause.

Oooh, git ’em Coach, git ’em!

So enlighten us, Will, why don’t you blame Hill for wanting to get out Miami? A private university nestled on a picturesque campus in Coral Gables. A proud program with five national titles in football – two more than your new school. A nationally recognizable brand. A team that funnels more top talent into the NFL than any other program (maybe you were too busy writing one-liners to realize there were eleven Canes in last year’s Pro Bowl and ten in this year’s). A university smack-dab in the middle of the biggest and best recruiting hotbed in the nation.

Regarding the city itself, a quick Wikipedia search might educate you a bit:

“Miami is a major center and a leader in finance, commerce, culture, media, entertainment, the arts, and international trade. In 2010, Miami ranked seventh in the United States in terms of finance, commerce, culture, entertainment, fashion, education, and other sectors. It ranked thirty-third among global cities.

In 2008, Miami was ranked as “America’s Cleanest City” according to Forbes Magazine for its year-round good air quality, vast green spaces, clean drinking water, clean streets and city-wide recycling programs. In 2009, UBS study of 73 world cities, Miami was ranked as the richest city in the United States and the world’s fifth-richest city, in terms of purchasing power.

Downtown Miami and South Florida are home to the largest concentration of international banks in the United States, and is home to many large companies both nationally and internationally. The Civic Center is a major center for hospitals, research institutes, medical centers, and biotechnology industries.

For more than two decades, the Port of Miami, known as the “Cruise Capital of the World” has been the number one cruise passenger port in the world, accommodating some of the world’s largest cruise ships and operations, and is currently the busiest in both passenger traffic and cruise lines.”

Oh the cretins who choose to live in the 305 when Gainesville is such an obvious step up.

Great job luring UM’s former wide receiver coach back north, as Hill is a UF alum – but lest not forget he’s also a Miami native, so the shots you’re attempting to take at a rival, you’re also directing at your assistant’s hometown. Well played.

Next time around take a page from first-year Miami head coach Al Golden if you want to rib a loathed in-state program, with the goal of firing up your fan base.

Weeks back, Golden put on his ‘marketing & branding’ cap, announcing that the Canes were “South Florida’s team”, while working tirelessly to introduce ‘The U’ to junior high kids in the TriCity area.

When asked about empty seats at Sun Life Stadium last Thanksgiving and the standard attendance knock – one that Florida fans are always quick to throw at Canes – the Miami leader stated:

“I know this — we have a better chance of filling our stadium than Gainesville has of putting an International city right outside its city limits.”

“The expectations here are high, but if you’re a coach, you want to be associated with a program that believes in winning national championships. That’s what fuels us as a staff right now — the yearning, coming to work every day knowing there’s something absent.”

Seems a little more poignant and well thought out than, “I don’t blame him” as your punchline.

The war of words will continue between Florida and Miami, both with first-year head coaches, mountains to climb and no meeting on the books until 2013. Should Muschamp wants to match wits or get cerebral with Golden, he might want to up his game before the national media starts grilling him as he won’t always have an audience full of easily amused Gators in tow.

… and Coach Muschamp, Miami tight ends coach Brennan Carroll has a one-liner for you, too. So easy even a Gator can figure it out. Check his Twitter feed. Short, sweet and to the point:

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