I’m thinking of the line Jeff Daniels dropped on Jim Carrey after; Harry sharing his opinions with Lloyd, who traded the “shaggin’ wagon” for the busted scooter, “straight-up”.
“Just when I thought you couldn’t be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
Leave off the redemption part regarding a few select members of the Miami Hurricanes’ football program and we’ve captured the moment—misappropriation of luxury cars the latest mini-scandal to plague “The U”.
Junior linebacker Juwon Young has been suspended—his future eligibility in serious doubt—while redshirt-junior defensive end Al-Quadin Muhammad is seeing his name tossed around. Some Canes’ basketball players are rumored to be involved, though head coach Jim Larranaga vehemently denies that’s the case.
In Young’s case, multiple sources inside UM’s athletic department expect the linebacker to be removed permanently. Muhammad is expected to be disciplined at some point this fall—his cooperation opposed to Young’s misdirection the ultimate difference in how the two were punished.
The degree of selfishness and stupidity in moments like this; it’s truly off the charts.
MIAMI CAN’T GET OUT OF ITS OWN WAY
That whole risk versus rewards thing—not even close to playing in one’s favor. At best, you go uncaught and roll around Miami in a car fancier than you could afford as a college athlete. At worst, you get caught, lose your eligibility, have to transfer out of your dream school and rebuild from the ground up.
Godforbid a kid keeps his head down for a few years, his nose in the books, busts his ass on the practice field, shines on game day and sets himself up for a multi-million dollar career in the NFL down the road—where he could go on to own any damn expensive car he wants, because he earned it.
Instead, another shortcut. More amateur athlete posturing in a sports culture where image is everything.
On one hand, it’d be easy to define this as a meaningless, small-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things infraction. “Miami kids are getting in trouble for driving around in a fancy car, while big-money SEC boosters are buying kids from their program loaded SUVs!”
Probably true—but that still doesn’t make it right.
CAN’T REMEMBER THE PAST? CONDEMNED TO REPEAT
Where the actions of a Young, a Muhammad or anyone from Larranaga’s squad (if the latter were involved) become unforgivable—”Shapirogate” and the bomb that dropped on the Miami program five summers ago.
Nevin Shapiro became a household name, as did Yahoo! Sports reporter Charles Robinson—though we haven’t heard much from either of them since.
A messy, slanderous two-year NCAA investigation followed regarding that “renegade booster”—and the University of Miami paid dearly. Hell, it’s still paying when you look at the product on the field, the drop-off in talent and a broken culture.
Former head coach Al Golden was given an extension the final week of his first regular season—not for his on-the-field efforts, but out of loyalty and fear.
The Canes finished 6-6 in 2011 and as a sub par Boston College team was slugging out a victory in South Florida, ESPN commentators explained the Miami had doubled-down on ol’ Fear The Tie. Why? Because with the investigation looming, no one was going to touch the job with a ten-foot pole—outside of the guy who backed his way in ten months prior; due to up-and-comer status and a 300-page binder full of bad Successories quotes.
Golden proved a suitable fall guy who could rah-rah the program in the midst of its’ downward spiral—even leading the Canes to a paper-champion 7-0 start two years later, just as the NCAA was pulling up its stakes.
Miami went on to lose three-straight from there—rolled 41-14 by a good Florida State squad in Tallahassee, crushed 42-24 by a bad Virginia Tech team in South Florida and running out of gas in a 48-20 loss at Duke. The Canes took out Virginia and Pittsburgh before getting thumped by Louisville in a bowl game—a 2-4 finish just as the dark cloud was lifted.
A NEW COACH TRYING TO SQUASH OUT BROKEN WAYS
Timing-wise, Golden’s firing gave former tight ends coach Larry Scott a chance to tread water with the Canes and get back to football basics—and in even more serendipitous fashion, Georgia decided to part ways with Mark Richt, paving the way for an unexpected homecoming for the former Canes quarterback.
Richt has his work cut out for him in Coral Gables—which is fine for a seasoned veteran making one last tour stop and going all-in before he calls it a career.
What isn’t fine; continuing to play Whack-A-Mole and smacking down lame-brained off-the-field problems, when the focus should be on getting this program ready for some tough games this fall.
Young will most-likely be the sacrificial lamb here as he’s become mildly disposable due to a trio of freshman linebackers who have shown up ready to play. Meanwhile, Muhammad will get another chance—because let’s face it, the defensive line needs his help with the pass rush.
Suspended the entire 2014 season for knocking the block off a classmate, Muhammad put that down time to good use and earned himself another sit-down for the 2015 season-opener thanks to a “violation of team rules”.
May these frustrating situations no longer arise on Richt’s watch.
May this program get to a point where it can cut bait with a kid who isn’t in line with the team’s core values—opposed to having to look away as he’s needed for depth-sake.
May the Miami Hurricanes simply find their way back after a treacherous ten-year journey—one that seems destined to remain off-track for another couple of years, at least.