ESPN’s Pat Forde sucks at math & journalism…

… and no, I don’t mean the horse-toothed Couch Jumper and Steroid Barry. I mean the National Enquirer and the integrity-less ESPN.

In an effort to keep the Miami/FIU brawl front page news, ESPN has been letting their big time columnists chime in on the matter. The story was a top their site all Saturday night and Sunday. One might assume things would die down as this week kicked into full gear. Fat chance.

On Monday, ESPN let Gene Wojohowdehiedihowdytestmecomeonearrestmehowski chime in. Mene Gene trashed the Canes, as expected. Fire Coker. Fire Lamar. Boot Meriweather and Reddick from the team. Suspend every other plays for the rest of 2006. Forfeit the game. He called Reddick’s helmet a “medieval weapon” and stated that he could’ve killed somebody. (Yet a helmet is ‘safe’ when attached to a safety’s head as he comes across the middle like a missle and plants it in the chest of an unsuspecting wide receiver?)

Wojo trashed Miami for signing Willie Williams, the Peach Bowl brawl and stomping Louisville’s logo. For the record, Gene, a dozen other schools were vying for Williams’ services and he chose Miami. While at The U, he kept his nose clean for two years and was never given preferential treatment on or off the field. Hence, his leaving Miami due to a lack of playing time.

Regarding the Peach Bowl, the brawl started when LSU players – in search of a souvenir – stole a UM ball from a Miami ball boy. A few Canes ran into the tunnel to retrieve it and were outnumbered by Tigers. Khalil Jones and Andrew Bain were sent to the hospital as both were beaten by LSU players wielding helmets. No LSU players were suspended and of course, based on their past reputation UM was seen as the aggressor.

As for the Louisville stomp… please. As if we don’t see opposing teams jumping on a home team’s logo for faux motivation at least a half dozen times per season. Let’s not make a mountain out of a mole hill on that one, Gene. It’s pregame hype between teenagers. It’s not burning an enemy country’s flag.

Still, even worse than Wojo is Pat Forde. A hack who chimed in a cool TWO FULL DAYS after the fracas, again, so ESPN could bump this story back a top their homepage.

Forde threw everything but the kitchen sink at Miami in his latest piece. As expected, this Johnny Come Lately is off base with his comments once again. Check out these gems and my rebuttal:

The Hurricanes did massive damage to the reputation they had scrupulously rehabbed since the mid-1990s.

305: What damage would that be? According to 99% of the media, Miami and the Thugs were alwayts playing the hits of the 80s, 90s and today. Butch Davis played clean up (1995-2000) and the modern era Canes have remained trouble-free for the majority of this decade. That’s over 10 years of ‘good behavior’ yet it’s not ‘edgy’ to acknowledge that. Good news doesn’t sell papers or drive web traffic. Slander away for the sake of your ratings.

Here’s your checklist, Hurricanes. If you:
A. Brawl with the opposition in the tunnel coming off the field following a 37-point bowl loss…

305: Oh, THAT brawl I described above where two Miami players were sent to the hospital because LSU players smashed them in the head with helmets? All because they stuck up for a teenage ballboy? Yeah, shame on Miami for getting beat down like that.

B. Have players on your team recording a spectacularly profane rap song about group sex…

305: Yeah, a ‘profane’ rap song. The Game better start watching his back as the 7th Floor Crew is coming on strong. These kids are hardcore. Please. It was a dorm room recording from 2003 which surfaced in 2005 and you spent more time dissecting it than FOX News does the war in Iraq.

As for those misogynisticic lyrics you complained of last year, how offended do you really believe modern day women are by rap music lyrics? Did you not hear a group of co-eds laughing and joking on last year’s recording? It was done in jest. Welcome to 2006. That’s what college kids do in their free time. They smoke, drink, have sex and can record rhymes in Garage Band on their Mac. What were you doing at 20, curing Cancer?

C. Stomp on the midfield logo of another team in what could only be an intentional pregame attempt to antagonize…

305: Miami stomped the logo and Louisville stomped Miami, 31-7. The Canes puffed out their chests and the Cardinals called their bluff. Sometimes teams taunt each other in college football. Get over it. If you’re so offended by it, I suggest talking to your program directors. Ask them to stop airing the footage every-hour-on-the-hour three days after the fact and quit using the fight as a teaser for every upcoming episode of SportsCenter.

D. Use your cleats, helmets and fists as weapons in a five-minute brawl with another team — no matter who started it…

305: If you’re not using your fists, what ARE you using in a brawl? I’ll let you slide on that as I’m all too excited to bag on you about your mathematical skills.

A five minute brawl, my ass. Maybe if you didn’t watch the game and only feast on ESPN’s looped footage of the tussle. Click here. Watch the footage. Do the math.

Miami and FIU get into it :06 into the clip and the last push occurs at the :57 mark. From that point until the 1:21 point, players are ushered back to the sidelines. Both teams were back on their respective sidelines in less than 90 seconds.

Like you, the majority of college football fans didn’t see this live. It was on PPV and a meaningless game. No one tuned in and all are relying on ‘responsible’ journalism to inform them how it all shook down. Instead of the truth, they’re seeing a video edit which is slanted against the Canes.

ESPN also took commentator Lamar Thomas’ rant out of context. Everything Thomas said on live TV about the brawl was AFTER the teams were separated. ESPN’s loop of the fight has Thomas’ comments OVER the footage, making it sound as if he was endorsing it as it happened.

I’m sure your overplayed, edited version had NOTHING to do with the public outcry which eventually cost Thomas his job. I guarantee 95% of those who complained to CSS didn’t see the game. The only saw the ESPN version.

On top of all that, now you’re reporting that the teams scrapped it out for five minutes. That’s almost two full rounds of a heavyweight bout. Miami fans know that’s not the case, but you and ESPN force-fed the masses nothing but a doctored truth these past three days. That’s garbage.

You’re Thug U. You singularly lack class. And your coach and school administration seem either powerless or uninterested in doing anything to alter that.

305: Uninterested in doing things? The game wrapped up around 10:00pm ET on Saturday. Sunday was spent watching film and having conference calls with ACC officials who were also reviewing footage. Monday morning was an emergency meeting by the Board of Trustees.

Hours later Miami has suspended thirteen players. Twelve to miss the next game and one out indefinitely. Community service has been issued to all players and a ‘zero tolerance’ policy has been put into play for both players who fight AND coaches who can’t control it.

UM President Donna Shalala gave a spirited 20 minute press conference. Click here to check it and again tell me that our admin is ‘uninterested’ in cleaning things up.

You do realize The U had ALL of that accomplished before your lame article was even posted.

Your drivel went live Tuesday morning and Miami had all their ducks in a row before end of business day on Monday.

You imply that Miami lacks class – yet you spent Monday afternoon crafting an article which does nothing but cast stones at a lot of good people, a proud program and some kids who made a mistake. If that’s class, I’ll pass.

Yet so far they have added only problems to the ACC, not prestige.

305: Back to back 9-3 records, a CWS appearance for the baseball team, some nice conference upsets in basketball. How about an 87% graduation rate for football players in 2005. In 2004, that number was 84.2% while the national average was 58%. The U has exceeded the national graduation rate for AFCA member schools 13 of the past 15 years.

Do we even need to talk about the five football championships, the four baseball titles and more NFL talent than any other school? You couldn’t fill five minutes of SportsCenter on Sundays if you didn’t feature kids from The U.

We ARE prestige.

Your article is a joke, Forde. Not as bad as your 7th Floor Crew ‘investigative reporting,’ but much more irresponsible.

Miami made a mistake and the admin acted accordingly, working in tandem with conference leaders.

Before the season, four players were suspended for the FSU match up. The biggest game on the schedule. A game Bobby Bowden has publicly stated he’d never suspended a kid for. They’ll ride the pine against the likes of Duke.

The Canes lost, 13-10 and damn well could’ve used Tyrone Moss, James Bryant and Ryan Moore. Yet the previous year, Bowden doesn’t suspend Ernie Sims (domestic dispute) and A.J. Nicholson (D.U.I.) for the opener against the Canes. Florida State hangs on to win, 10-7 and no one grills or chastises Bowden for playing those thugs.

This was a :60 mistake that this program would love to put behind us.

Unfortunately, we can’t do that until ESPN has gotten their fill and runs this story straight into the dirt, as they do with everything. Still, keep spewing the venom. It’ll make it all THAT much sweeter when we’re back on top.

.:Canes305:.

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