I got my ass handed to me a few days back – verbally, not physically – though if I weren’t a few time zones away on the left coast, the latter might’ve been the case. Regardless, it wasn’t fun. A little life lesson on the power of words and the impact they have on real people.
It’s easy to stare at a screen and write. Words lose their value when they pour out of your fingertips a sentence per second. Opinions and statements are easier to make when not looking a man in the eye – thinking out, articulating and delivering those thoughts in your head.
I’m not at liberty to divulge my mark, but there are University of Miami ties and our guy disagreed with my assessment of both he and the job he did. (No, it wasn’t Larry Coker.) More frustrating, I look back at my dated words and know deep down what I wrote wasn’t what I felt. Emotions got the better of me and logic flew right out the window. Back and forth banter and winning the debate became more important than the actual subject itself. A vicious cycle when taking these types
I won’t go into the detail of the conversation, as it pales in comparison to the overall lesson.
I listen to the pundits criticize blogging and the open forum in which anyone and everyone has an opinion. To a point, I get it… but that’s not the case here. My work is hardly world class, but I read enough and come across a fair share of hacks getting paid handsomely to do this for a living.
A trait I’m thankful we don’t share – the fact I’m not afraid to take my medicine. I took the verbal beat down and I listened to reason. I apologized for my comments being out of line and I’m writing this rebuttal out of choice, not force.
I spend a fair share of time perusing UM-themed message board. CanesTime. CaneSport. Comment sections in the Herald’s UM-themed blogs. At times I get roped into some banter, but for the most part I’ve learned to spectate. I’ve been venomous at times. I dove headfirst into my share of debates, sometimes arguing for the sake of arguing, simply wanting to ‘win’.
What an utter waste.
There are things in life that can’t be duplicated. You don’t know the feeling of having a child until you have one. You can’t know the pain of losing a loved one until you lose one.
In no way am I lumping this in that same category, but for those who write so freely online, it’s humbling when the target of your aggression is on the other end of the line, quoting you verbatim and letting you know how your words crushed them. It then gets downright humiliating when they point out flaws in your argument; you unable to fight back being that they were actually there, while you built your case from archived articles or pointless stats. They lived through it and know the facts like the back of their hand, while you wrongly put something false out there for the world to read.
This situation knocked the wind out of me. Moving forward, I won’t second-guess every word I write… though I’ll always put myself in check regarding the intent. What’s the purpose of what I’m about to write? Could I rephrase it without malice or forced wit instead of following the trends of trashy tabloid sports journalism that have taken over?
He who yells loudest is heard and he who throws out the most insults or outlandish statements get the most viewers. That’s never been my intent with this blog. This was a hobby that turned into a passion and an online store enhancement. It’s not a career. It’s not a subscription-based site. It’s not about the traffic or money. It’s here for those who want to delve in, Miami fans and rivals alike.
We hit a new low here today and by we, I mean me. I went too far for no reason other than debating a point and winning. Hell, this piece was so old I had to Google it to remember when I wrote it. Upon rereading it, I felt like an utter heel.
To the party discussed here, again, I’m truly sorry. I never had the authority to question your efforts and wrongly assessed your accomplishments. I was wrong. I am man enough to admit that.
To the readers of this column, a commitment to no more low blows against the U Family. (Gators are still fair game, for obvious reasons.) The bush league digs are a thing of the past. I can’t rip ESPN for their tabloid trash in one article and then do the same the next day. It’s hypocritical.
A renewed sense of purpose with this blog moving forward. I’ve seen the light, though not in a way I ever expected.
I’ll take it, as the end result was obviously necessary.
wtf….I hope it was SI
Good to see an open minded self reflecting writer.
You definitely have some stones, CB. Not too many writers – let alone men – would've mustered up the courage to put themselves out there like this, apologizing at this capacity for their mistake.
Not sure who you're referring to, but glad to see a lesson was learned. All of us who spend time on blogs and message boards could learn from your mistake. Easy to be an Internet Tough Guy when there are no repercussions. A different ball game when someone calls you out. Sounds like you took it like a man. Good job, bro.
Mike Mercer
Kendall, FL
Wow… a point on a football blog that holds weight in the real world.
Good check, 305. I've had a few times myself of confessing to my wife, "I just shouldn't have said that." Such a foolish use of ability. Never posted it on my blog though. You didn't do it from adulation, but I'll just say that it's wonderful to hear & see words from a "man" & not just another "guy."
Kudos~
First class, 305. Wow. Arguably your most impressive work to date. Proud to be a fan of this blog and proud to be a Cane.
"MAN UP" and tell us what happend homie?
GATORS 2009-10 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS…AGAIN!!!!!
"MAN UP" and tell us what happend homie?
I am "manning up", my friend. I'm keeping my word to the party in question and I'm not mentioning his name – per his request. Keeping my word to him is more important than spilling the beans here because inquiring minds want to know.
It's not important WHO this person is. It is important that a lesson is learned… not just by me, but by readers of this blog who also play 'internet tough guy' sometimes, going overboard with their rants and forgetting that the people (players or coaches) we're talking about have real feelings.
There goes Cook and Smith. Thinking they have better chance to start some where else.
Chris,
I appreciate all that you do on this blog with all things Canes. I myself have said things I shouldn't have here and in my everyday life that I wish I could have phrased differently or not said at all. College football is emotion, and fans can easily get caught up in it. You are showing your true class by even bringing this up in this public forum. I commend you, and you do great work here. Keep it up.
-Columbus Cane
sounds like this fool didn't listen to his kindergarten teacher when they taught the "sitcks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" bit.
I appreciate your maturity and honesty, but if you had to actually google your post to figure out what this guy was talking about, then it is WAY to far back in the past to matter, or be of consequence. Why should you feel this terrible for his inadequacy?
Great post, and you've shown you're a better man than I, but really… this shouldn't happen. You're an educated fan with a valid opinion. If this moron couldn't take it, then all he needs to do is not read this blog.
On a side Cane note, I just saw we lost BOTH Cook AND Smith to transfers. I am at a loss. For the past 8 years we can not get qb's to commit here or to stay here, whether it be last minute commitment switches or transfers. There has to be something going on here beneath the surface or in the character of the guys we're going after. How can every other program stack up bodies at qb and we are constantly in an uphill battle? I refuse to buy that it's because Jacory is only a sophomore, because even when Tebow or Bradford were starters as Sophomores, they still had no trouble getting guys to sign on and stay. I am at a loss. So now we have Harris and Highsmith as qb's – and that's it. Obviously we have to take more than 1 qb in this 2010 class now. We are one hit away from being in a really bad situation.
-Columbus Cane
Honorable move, 305. But the cynic in me wants to know if the apology was your idea or if the folks at AllCanes felt it was necessary to mend some fences.
I mean no offense by the inquiry, and I think you do a great job with the blog.
C,
i have to tell you this is one of the most well written apologies i have ever read…and i am glad to see a person come through the ink on this one…not just some everyday writer…seeing a true human side of you makes me feel glad to read your material and proud to communicate with you even if it is only through a blog…i know you drink the hurricane kool aid…as well as i do…but i feel as if i can relate to you through something like this…because you will take your medicine when you need to and eat some crow…your a great person and human being…since you have now come out with this…move on from it…dont beat yourself up over it…stay true to what you write and always keep it real…reading this makes me know you are not just some sunday fan writing about a team you like but a real cane…i am glad to be a part of the U family with guys like you and will always support this blog and read your material
you are the man!!!
on another note…hit me back and let me know what you think about the news i read today about taylor cook and cannon smith leaving school..to transfer out to another program to continue their football careers
lets get to talking about these canes again and these young men who put their hearts on the field for the U family and fans of this university like us..
peace brotha
VA CANE
Honorable move, 305. But the cynic in me wants to know if the apology was your idea or if the folks at AllCanes felt it was necessary to mend some fences.
Displaced, I can appreciate the cynicism.
For the record, I was asked to take a call from the frustrated party, which I was glad to do.
The party discussed her specifically asked me to never mention his name around here again and not to blog about our conversation.
The matter was considered a done deal after we spoke, but I still felt compelled to write about the act itself – the irresponsibility on my part – not the conversation itself.
Everything I wrote was from the heart.